An Apology

Last night, I was over rude to you
oh yes! I was and I just intended to be
I think, I was thinking wrong
but thinking wrong felt so right to me.

I know, I might have caused you a sore
but late at night, when i laid
in my pillow, i was feeling like a bore
I had so many things unheard, unsaid.

And my eyes were veiled with ego
I pretended not to see your tears
And my mind was so comfortably numb
That your screaming emotions i couldn't hear.

staring bleak, wasting the hours
getting filled up with anger and pain
As I realize with my selfish attitude
For you and for me, frustration did I gain.

Now, i feel like a total jerk
screwing up myself, losing good time
So, i think It's time for an apology
Before I lose my poem's rhyme.

P.s : I am sorry for all that stupid things,
But i guess, that's just me.. :)

An UnpRoVokeD ThoughT , A re-ReaD PoetRy

Once more the pen is a slave
To my fingers
But it's a strain, a pain that runs down my veins
An unprovoked thought, a re-read poetry
I need to wake up and see, I have lost the poet in me.

Or she was a long lost love?
Flew down to my thoughts, and flew away again
Once again, the pen is a slave to my fingers,
slave or a burden , i wonder..

What is this I'm writing?
This is not poetry, these are confessions
Confessions unsaid, unheard.. boring..
was it hunger or satisfaction? A re-read line
THe pen, a slave or burden?? An unprovoked thought

I cannot fit a word
"Sword, bored, lord" , I think but little thought
I cannot rhyme a word here
Fit words, make sense, that's all? Is it?

ALL is a tu\iny word with a terrible meaning
But can it be enough? should it be enough?
I strive to figuare out
The veins r rupturing , I think
But who shall wake me up, who shall see?
That I never had a poet in me...

archie's thoughts

the old record
is it too old to play the song
the ashes of the cigar
is it too burnt to give me the feeling of smoke
and the smoke u see in the clouds
of the pirate ship that never sank aloud
amidst the seas, amidst the blue
is it still afloat?

the red pictures in the dirty album
and red enough to forge the men in them
dead or alive,
in the memories brightt..
or they too have become reddish to fade away
and archie thinks and thinks today

the roads that goes, they return
but they do not cary the people who went
the people who passed by
no matter how u try
and archie tried too..to hold back his father
and now he counts him amidst the evening star..
and no more words he can say
archie just thinks something today

hotath lekha kobita

kalnto dupur, megh gur gur

akash kalo kalo

baje barota, du ek fota

bristir chat elo.

janla kopat, jhopat jhopat

hawai kore nrityo

bristir chate, bhije gelo khate

geometry r brittyo..

khola chatai, gacher patai

tup-tap koto music

rasta eka, neiko dekha

kono sulogna paramanick.

mithye kotha, premer byatha

hrodoyer ek kona

nistobdhota, chokhe chokhe kotha

smritir anagona

ebar,

dupur shanto, hawa boddho

uttopto nagari

bristir sheshe, kobita eshe

milemishe jeno kichuri

Evaded.....

Her shining eyes and you shall melt
the atti-tude that got you knelt
As her heels sound tlok-tlok-tlok
everyone turns to take a look.


she has a shining eye.. that lay hidden behind the dark glasses of about -5.25 powers. from the Hairs crowding over her face,she often peeps out to see the dudes proposing her friends..while she stays behind the tree..smiles away the gentle pain.. and turns her heels. But her heels neither sounds tlok-tlok-tlok..nor does anyone turn.. except the swift breeze giving her company. she has got the old fashioned shoes.. with platforms...the colors of which have almost faded..faded to negligence.

she dances like the fairies do
and fumbles in the shades of blue
and the nails so nice.. and the lipstick shines
with the stylish people she would dine..

aditi has to dance..dance.. haha.. yes. that would be the reaction of the people.. she knows.
she once learnt kathhak when she was young.. but people wnat jazz nd salsa today.. "and then she would fall off and they would laugh".. she thinks.. as she starts painting. the white canvas.. the brushes.. and she wants it blue.
Feeling blue.. the white sheet is soon fumbled in shades of blue..she loves it. she bits her nails.. "will it ever end up in the art gallery?".. she thinks.. she doenst want it to end up .. maybe. There is too much of herslef in it.
Its 10.30 at night.. she coems at the dinign hall.. dinner is served at the table..
.. she sits alone in her chair of the corner.. munches in the roti and tarka..

and the world would follow her steps
they shall smile with smile on her lips
the outer shell is all they see..cuz they're blind
the magic remains hidden inside...

she moves up in her room. thenew place that's home to her for the past 6years of her life.with none to follow her.. and play hide and seek...she locks the door.and turns her back. the scattered books on the bed.. she arranges her table, makes her bed.. grabs a chair and sits down.
a photograph caught her eye.. she picks it up from the floor.
and she smiles...
the memories of her childhood..pours down like an offseason rainfall. how life used to be.. how they wlaked from skool and in riany dyas they would intentionally get drenached... followed by a hard scolding of mom. and in the name of " study together" they would play carrom or chess or dwell upon the puli pithas..
and after the bikeler khela session.. they would all gather round the local chop dokan.. and get hold of chops with "muri" ... she still doenst know the english of muri.. maybe she had heard.. she doenst want to use.. doesnt want to remeber..

taking out her laptop gradully she opens her blogs.. and writes down the above written. Blogs r open forums but she knows here too no one shall folow her..and the the wordsshall be unspokes, unheard and unread ....

Hotochhara..

ajkal tui boro hotocchara.. jokhon ja bolbo thik tar ulto ta korbi..
jokhon boli kal ashish ajj porte jabo.. omni porar shomoy eshe hazir ( jodio mone mone ami shetar jonyo jothesto dhonyobad toke janai)
bari firchi.. amar pichone ekta shundor dekhte chele panjabi pore.. arr chokeh takabo kina tai bhabchi.. omi kotha theke ure eshe jure boshli.. badhyo hoye amay darate holo.. dokaner pashe.. oo berie gelow.. ish amar dekhao holo na
( dekhleo emon ki hoto ke jane.. tao.. tui na parish bote)
shedin sharata bikel tor payer nupur shobar kane bejeche.. shobai shunte shunte bore hoye geche.. toke bole kina chole ja.. ami tor nch dekhechi ... chom chom shobto shune geyechi onek gaan gun gun kore ( linkin park er in the end chilo.. ekta naam na jana band er " ami tomar shhe ekla hote chai") ... tui mind korishni to doer kotha.. plzz korishna..

majhe majhe khub raag hoy tor opor.. keno nahoy nai bollam.. iccha kore dhroe koshai duto chor.. birokto kore tulish amay majhe majhe .. but tui nah thakleo chole na..
your frangnance fills me with sorrow.. the rythmic melody makes me sad depressed... but i love it. and i love you.

drainer jole dhopash dhopash shobto.. tui proe jacchis majhe majhei.. golir mukhe jekhane ekgada jol jome.. cycle rickshawr pahnch phanch.. shekhaneo tui achis.. shob jaigai nak na golale chole na nare?.. kodin paa pichle alur dom hobi.. tarpor toke dkehteo pabo na r...

Bristi tui ajkal eto hotocchara keno re?

holei baa hotocchara ami tao je toke khub bhalobashi!

amay chere jash ne...

Mother

Don’t leave me alone, not another night

Don’t disperse amidst the world outside

Don’t crown urself in the throne of the filth

Mother, don’t suicide just for wealth

And in their eyes the nasty glance

And those cruel hounds seeking for prey

On your innocent lips their filthy eyes dance

Mother, why don’t you run away?

I know, how you cry

As you put that fake smile upon your face

I know, how you lie

As you say you love disgrace

I know how you sigh

As you see my dreams come true

I know how you try

And you try again, to break through

and fianlly, away from me, away you go

to place where the roads cannot follow

And I try to clutch your hand

But In the glowing room alone do I stand

a thousand words i wish to speak

bursting inside, in a furious moan

everything is black, everything is bleak

the grief is bringing me down...

And my blood spills, my veins strain,

And my eyes tend to close to see The justice

Burning in the fire of anguish and pain

last words you said “forget me, in that is bliss”

Oh yes! Untouchable, she was, to the world of sanes

The world that had made her the deadly cocaine

But once mother, once I wish you would have seen

That You were always mygoddess divine